EDUCATION

                      "Wonderfully Made"
                                                                 
                                                                Part 4
 
 
"EDUCATION" pages are full of thought-provoking information designed to appeal to all of your rational, thinking brain.  These pages are primarily for learning, as opposed to some other types of Comfort.Guide pages which are written more for motivation and consolation.  Let these teachings help guide you to the truth that you are noticed, loved and cared for, even though you might not always feel so!

 
                                         Current Research and Scripture

                                                                                                        
(Part 1) Introduction and “We Are Designed for Love!” 
 
(Part 2) Introduction and “We Are Designed for Protection and Survival!”
 
(Part 3) Introduction and “We Are Designed for Healing and Renewal of the Mind - The Neuroscience behind PAUSE, REFLECT, RECEIVE!”  

(Part 4) Introduction and “Making God’s Design Personal - Identifying our own Personal Triggers and Healing the Memories that Cause Them!"  (Starts Below)                      
                                                                           
  
Conscious Awareness

Have you ever been in a “normal” conversation and suddenly you have a highly charged negative reaction?  Perhaps you begin to panic and sweat, perhaps your heartbeat increases, perhaps you feel waves of anger or shame, etc.  Think perhaps of a conversation in which your boss at work suggests you perform your job slightly differently, but you take the conversation (on a personal level) as highly disturbing, causing feelings of unworthiness, shame, an inability to perform as others might.  The sky is falling.  Yet anyone listening in might say: “What’s the problem?  You are severely overreacting!  Calm down!  What indeed happened to you?”
 
In these situations, you have been “triggered” by something innocently said today, but which in your mind brought back old memories of being hurt, feeling ashamed, and feeling “less able” than others.   Perhaps you even thought that these memories were buried long gone.  But now you realize they are quite alive, rumbling around just under the surface and ready to flare up to cause pain!  These are called “emotional flashbacks”. 

This happens because we are designed to order memories by “association” and similarities.  We can have a string of memories (or a “memory collection”) all connected by a common message.  This principle is also known as Hebb’s Law, a law of neuroscience that explains how a habit is formed. 

The word “trigger” itself is defined, specifically in www.dictionary.com, “as anything, as an act or event that serves as a stimulus and initiates or precipitates a reaction or series of reactions.”  For psychological purposes, using the word “trigger” describes the process through which anything such as a smell, sound (like a conversation), touch, sight or action, results in a connection between our memories and a current event, either negative or positive, resulting in spontaneous physiological, mental, and emotional reactions, as if the past event was occurring in the present.  “Triggers” is also the term used to describes the flight-fight-freeze  experience when a current event connects, or is similar in any way, with a past traumatic event tagged by the limbic system (the emotional brain), as a threat to safety.

Caroline Leaf explains this process in her book: “Who Switched Off My Brain?”, in this way: “We’ll look at the science of how this works more closely later, but the key is to understand that emotions are attached to thoughts.  These emotions are very real and link your thoughts to the reaction in your body and mind.  This is called the psychosomatic network.  They can surface even years after an event has occurred, when the memory of that event is recalled”. (Leaf, p.22)

Why do we want to identify the triggers in our daily life?  Simple: they automatically cause an unbalanced chemical message that results in stressful and negative responses mentally, socially and physiologically.  We want to become mindful of these triggers so that we can bring the thoughts, beliefs, emotions and physiological responses associated with the negative reactions to our conscious awareness for comfort and rewriting.  We want to recognize them so when we experience them, we can handle them in a new way, so they cannot hurt us and others any longer!

To do this, we need to understand that the brain is constantly scanning for threats to survival on an emotional/social level as well as a physical level; it is determining whether we are safe or in danger.  
Bessel Van Der Kolk, MD in his book “The Body Keeps the Score”, states that “The more people try to push away and ignore internal warning signs, the more likely they are to take over and leave them bewildered, confused, and ashamed.  People who cannot comfortably notice what is going on inside become vulnerable to respond to any sensory shift either by shutting down or by going into a panic - they develop a fear of fear itself.” (pg. 97)

The good news is that repair can happen, freedom can occur, and peace can come back as we will see later in this document!

Before we continue, try to remember the Gospel story of the Samaritan woman Jesus talked to at the town well.  Her life was a complete mess and totally out of control.  Any memories she had were ones of desperation, disaster, depression and destruction.  Yet after a long talk with Jesus, she ran to the town and told everyone: f (John 4, N.I.V)

It is obvious that when Jesus spoke to her, He did so by helping her understand the “why” and the “how” of her decisions and actions, and not in a condemning manner but is a positive manner so that she understood herself better.  He wanted to help her establish her future on a hopeful foundation.  That same process will happen for you, now!
 
Healing of Internal Memory “Videos”

We are equipped with the capacity to recall memories, either positive or negative, perhaps traumatic and/or perhaps seemingly insignificant.  Our memories can be described as a video in our mind.  These videos within us are visually replaying the event, but in addition, all the emotions and sensory experiences connected to the event are also activated!  Triggers are just the “on” or “play” button in our personal video recording machine in our minds and hearts!
 
For instance, remember the day your dad perhaps said something like: “you are worthless”, or you were in a life-or-death situation, or you experienced rejection and bullying on a schoolyard playground, or even something as simple as not making a team.  These memories are stored within with all the thoughts and emotions that occurred during the event; but, those that were hurtful, may remain unprocessed.  It is those hurtful memories that impacted a loss of core needs that combine to form your core heart belief and attitude of heart. The negative core heart belief is the source of the triggers in your personal life that will drive your reactions and resulting self-protecting behavior. 
 
Because these memories are living entities, and because of the way our brains have been designed, these memories can be seen in a new light and changed! 

A word of caution: because these memories can be highly charged emotionally, the flight/fight/freeze  neurological response may be activated as you work.  Therefore, it is important that you begin this work from a position of SAFETY and are familiar with being able to pause and calm yourself.  Remember also that the work of your healing can begin on-line in Comfort.Guide), but you may also need professional counseling.  
Prayerfully and intentionally inviting Jesus TO BE WITH YOU at the beginning of your journey is your SAFEST PLACE TO BE.  See Jesus actually sitting next to you in mind and heart!  Stay in that “place” of safety throughout the work of processing this memory.
 
In other words, inviting Jesus to be next to you is your first step.  As Jesus explains everything to you and you begin to see the whole picture through His eyes, you will feel a sense of safety.   You will “see” this memory more clearly, and then, when ready, be able to share these new insights with others.  Healing happens.
 
What we couldn’t talk about before, we can now talk about freely!  What we were not able to understand before, such as “why” and “how”, we now see clearly because we are looking through His eyes.  And most exciting, watch for Jesus right in the middle of that experience!  You were never alone!    
 
As you speak with Jesus, give expressive language to your feelings and thoughts.  Let your emotions be expressed.  This will allow your emotional brain to connect to your logical brain. You are NOW seeking brand new understandings and perspectives that you were not able to consider during the past event itself.  
 
In the safety of His presence, Jesus helps us “VIEW” the memory, but not “RELIVE” the memory!   Also, and very important, listen to Him as He encourages you to “view” this memory with compassion and empathy for YOU during that situation!  As you choose to agree with this NEW view of this event through the eyes of Jesus, allow it to calm you! 
 
He begins to totally rewrite our thoughts, beliefs and transform our emotions.  As a result, this re-written and understood memory is stored in our “memory library” in a totally new way.  And this new memory begins to have an impact on all the other memories connected with it!  You will still be able to tell your story, but calmly and not in a way that overwhelms you. You are receiving comfort!  Healing begins to flow!
 
Healing in the Details
 
When we bring any of these experiences to Jesus and see Him sitting with us, and hear Him speaking with us, and realize that He is explaining everything we need to know, some people call this process “Healing of Memories”.  

As you have asked Jesus to be present in the memory you have given Him permission to DO and SAY NOW what He longed to DO and SAY THEN if we were AWARE of His presence.  He can reveal His heart and mind to you. 

Watch Him, Listen to Him, Choose to Agree with Him, and then Receive from Him more than you can ever imagine!
 
Specifically…..

In your memory, what does He say to you?  What does He say to those with whom you are interacting?

How does His presence change your feelings about yourself and those involved, as well as the nature of God Himself?

How is His heart for you and those involved in this memory different from what you previously felt or came to believe?

What is the truth of this event through the heart and eyes of Jesus?

What is the lie that the world and the devil would want you to have accepted as truth?

What do I gain now, in the present, as Jesus transforms this memory?

How does this realization change your feelings, beliefs and behavior in your current life?
 

This is the end to this four-part series.