COMFORT.GUIDE ....."I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him, creating praise on the lips of the mourners..." (Isaiah 57, NIV)
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    • WEEK 1 ... OUTLINE >
      • A WOMAN AT A WELL
      • SEEING OUR EARLY LOSSES CLEARLY
      • WHO DO YOU CRY OUT TO?
      • WHO IS HE???
      • PSALM 139
    • WEEK 2 ... OUTLINE >
      • LIVING IN BETHSAIDA
      • SEEING EARLY LOSSES, WITH AGES
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      • P.S. - FAITH, FEELINGS & CANCER
    • WEEK FOUR OUTLINE ... "TELLING MY STORY - I FELT" >
      • EMMANUEL
      • SEEING OUR LOSSES CLEARLY - EXTENDED SCALE
      • DELIGHTING IN A VISIT
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    • WEEK FIVE OUTLINE - TELLING MY STORY - "I FELT TO I LOST" >
      • NOTICING A WIDOW
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      • STAGES OF GRIEF
    • WEEK SIX OUTLINE - TELLING MY STORY - "I FELT TO I LOST" >
      • PETER - WAITING FOR INSPIRATION AND POWER!
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      • WHAT IS ON HIS PALM?
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      • TELLING MY STORY - MUST AND SHOULD
      • GOOD SHEPHERD
    • WEEK EIGHT OUTLINE - “I CAME TO BELIEVE" >
      • A MAN WITH A SHRIVELED HAND
      • WOUNDED HEARTS THINK WOUNDING THOUGHTS
      • IDENTIFYING PERSONAL TRIGGERS/WORKSHEET
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      • "WONDERFULLY MADE" - 4
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    • WEEK NINE OUTLINE - "TELLING MY STORY - I CAME TO BELIEVE TO I ACTED" >
      • THE WIDOW OF NAIN
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      • UNFAILING LOVE, AND WORK
      • HE REACHES OUT FIRST
    • WEEK TEN OUTLINE - "TELLING MY STORY - I CAME TO BELIEVE TO I ACTED" >
      • INHERITANCE FOR SONS
      • DEFENSE MECHANISMS
      • INHERITANCE FOR WHOM?
      • A JOURNEY
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    • WEEK ELEVEN OUTLINE - "RENEWING MY MIND - FAITH, FEELINGS AND FORGIVENESS" >
      • TAKING JESUS AT HIS WORD/JAIRUS
      • TAKING JESUS AT HIS WORD/OFFICIAL
      • I WANT TO WALK!
      • GRACE FOR AN "OUTSIDER?"
    • WEEK TWELVE OUTLINE - "RENEWING MY MIND - FAITH, FEELINGS AND FORGIVENESS" >
      • WANTING TO GET WELL, OR?
      • FORGIVENESS/CHOICE
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  • WEEKS 13 & 14 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK THIRTEEN OUTLINE - REWRITE - "I CAME TO BELIEVE ... AND I GAINED" >
      • ZACCHAEUS
      • REWRITE - CRYING OUT - SEEING OUR LOSS CLEARLY
      • MY SERVANT
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      • ARE YOU KNOWN?
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      • MUST AND SHOULD W/ SCRIPTURE
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      • A FATHER'S DELIGHT
  • WEEKS 15 & 16 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK FIFTEEN OUTLINE - RE-WRITE! “I GAINED” to “I AM SET FREE TO FEEL” >
      • GARDENING
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      • RE-WRITE MY STORY - COMFORT AND HEALING OF MEMORIES
      • NATHANIEL AND A FIG TREE
    • WEEK SIXTEEN OUTLINE - RE-WRITE! "I GAINED" TO i AM SET FREE TO FEEL" >
      • HIS PLANS FOR US
      • RE-WRITE MY STORY - COMFORT AND HEALING OF MEMORIES
      • WHOSE PLANS ARE BETTER?
  • WEEKS 17 & 18 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK SEVENTEEN OUTLINE - "BOUNCE!" >
      • A CHANGE OF PLANS
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EDUCATION

Defense Mechanisms

EDUCATION" pages are full of thought-provoking information designed to appeal to all of your rational, thinking brain.  These pages are primarily for learning, as opposed to some other types of Comfort.Guide pages which are written more for motivation and consolation.  Let these teachings help guide you to the truth that you are noticed, loved and cared for, even though you might not always feel so!


THE FOLLOWING ARE COMMON DEFENSE AND SURVIVAL MECHANISMS IN RESPONSE TO THE POTENTIAL OR ACTUAL LOSS OF A SENSE OF SAFETY, WORTH, EFFECTIVENESS AND BELONGING. 

DENIAL:  Refusing to acknowledge, feel or even talk about painful circumstances that threaten our sense of safety, worth, effectiveness or belonging.

RATIONALIZATION:  Assigning or attributing a false explanation or justification for our pain; this shields us from facing the reality of both potential and/or real loss, as well as realizing the necessity for change.

PROJECTION:  Accusing others of doing or thinking what, in fact, we are doing or thinking; this shields us from the pain of taking personal responsibility for why we are experiencing loss.  This can also occur when we mistakenly feel a false sense of guilt or shame.

REPRESSION:  Preventing painful or dangerous thoughts from entering our consciousness; we construct a mental and emotional barrier.

DISPLACING:  Expressing or acting out negative emotions and defensiveness on individuals who are less threatening in terms of the harm they can indeed, or might, do to us; this saves us from dealing with individuals  who are the true cause of our negative emotions and fear.

PASSIVITY:  Withdrawing from an appropriate physical, verbal or emotional response to a situation or relationship in order to protect ourselves from perceived hurt; we go blank emotionally.

MINIMIZATION:  Refusing to realize the harm we can inflict on ourselves, as well as the harm that others have inflicted on us; refusing to realize how our previous choices, actions and interactions (as well as those of others) have led to loss.  You may also minimize your own value, and need for self-care and comfort.

BLAMING:  Attributing our behavior as a simple reaction to another’s behavior; it’s their fault.

INTELLECTUALIZATION:  Removing the emotional aspects of painful situations from conscious awareness, and focusing only on the factual and logical narrative and explanation of the situation.

SPIRITUALIZATION:  Believing our painful situation is a result of “God’s Will”; this can suppress our emotional processing of a painful situation.

It's hard to cry out to God, and to hear Him crying out to you, with these types of walls in place!



* Which one(s) of the above Defense Mechanisms do you experience to protect yourself?  

* How has this pattern affected your life, and others, negatively?  


* How would knowing Jesus loves you give you courage to ask for freedom and healing?



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PROMISES ..... short Scriptures to build you up and give you hope!


"The sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you, for the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your days of sorrow will end..."  
(Isaiah 60, NIV)

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