WEEKS 1 & 2: ORIENTATION … TELLING MY STORY
NOTE: It will be helpful to take a look at each week’s contents/outline as you read this information. You will also notice that some of the readings in each week are not mentioned in the following pages. We have chosen to highlight certain readings because they so accurately reflect the theme of that particular week; ALL the readings are important, however!
STAGE OF CHANGE … Unawareness to awareness, and openness to change
STAGE OF GRIEF … Numbness and Denial to the Natural Alarm System: Anger
EDUCATIONAL MATERIAL: “Wonderfully Made (Part 1) Introduction and We are Designed for Love.” This is found at the tab at the top of this page. Part 1 will be woven into the study in Weeks 1 & 2. Also, due to its importance, it can also be found at the end of Week 2. Note that in total, 4 parts are available in the Wonderfully Made series. They are found in the tab above, and also at the ends of Weeks 2, 4, 6 and 8. These four parts are designed to bring understanding to members that we are indeed deeply wounded when core needs are not met. This information may be a significantly “new” awareness for some individuals. This educational work will help to see the validity of their response as well as lessen feelings and thoughts of personal weakness and/or isolation.
As we begin, a quick reminder: Comfort.Guide will revolve around two core areas: knowing Jesus and His heart for us, and knowing ourselves so we can invite Jesus to heal us and experience His abundant life.
Focus and Goals for Weeks 1 and 2:
Establish safety, self-introductions, and awareness of basic group guidelines. Review of Home Page and What You Need to Know Page. During weeks 1 & 2 we will focus on becoming aware of personal losses; these will become the focus of their personal story. Be sure to read the “Bridge” page at the very beginning of Week 1!
ESTABLISHING SAFETY
Establishing safety is a very significant issue and not accomplished until usually Weeks 3 or 4. In these introductory weeks we want to encourage safe interaction among the members. Also we want to intentionally begin to bring positive and safe memories to their awareness as a calming tool for members as the work of healing proceeds.
A great way to establish safety is to use the tool of “Icebreakers”. Ask open-ended questions that include the experience of being safe, such as: “What was your favorite way of playing as a child?” “What is your favorite smell and what are the memories associated with that smell?” What was your favorite place (location) where you remember feeling safe and at peace”? Describe that place.” “Tell me your favorite memory in which you felt safe and peaceful? What is your favorite scripture, and why?
Our first goal is KNOWING JESUS:
Week 1: “Woman at the Well”. Although we can all identify with the woman at the well, the focus is not so much on her as it is obtaining new insights as to how Jesus related to her with kindness and love.
Week 2: “Living in Bethsaida”. This Scripture has two important issues to focus on: the step by step healing, and the patient and personal care Jesus gave to the blind man in His journey to receive sight. Remember, the blind man was going through the stages of change and grief, like we all do, but Jesus will patiently lead us also through the same kind of journey of blindness to sight.
AIDS … Some people are helped by art and pictures. David Bowman has a website (www.bowmanart.com), filled with helpful images which can take the place of a thousand words! It’s a great way for some people to clearly look at themselves and their current relationship with Jesus.
Our second major goal is KNOWING OURSELVES:
Week 1: “Telling My Story - Seeing our early losses clearly” Worksheet. Although the following is stated in the directions, take time to emphasize here that the responses to this scale should not be about how they feel right now, or how they feel during work or at “play” but identify an overall, “in general”, “down deep” everyday background of thoughts and feelings. It may be difficult for members to acknowledge the loss immediately and have the insight to know how that loss connects with their current thoughts, emotions and behavior. This is often the function of denial as well as numbing. Be patient.
A great resource to more clearly identify this process is to draw attention to and show “The Still Face Experiment”; this is found in the “Wonderfully Made” tab at the top of this page, Part 1. Look for it.
Week 2: “Seeing Early Losses With Ages” Worksheet. Memories will begin to emerge, and with that the awareness of loss and grief regarding those memories may be experienced. It is important to invite both negative and positive memories.
You will see a Worksheet entitled: “Telling My Story – Comfort and Healing of Memories Narrative”; this is of great importance
Anger may begin to emerge as the natural stage of grieving. It is important to not focus immediately on forgiveness; rather, allow them to acknowledge that anger is appropriate as an alarm system when in danger. But it is not to be held on to as a coping response. Rather, seek to return to a place of safety by crying out to the Jesus when experiencing anger. Release this anger to Jesus and seek His comforting perspective.
Now is the time to invite the group members to begin to identify their personal focus for healing through this work. It is important to review the “Healing of Memories/Awareness” as well as the “Telling My Story - Comfort and Healing of Memories/Narrative” Worksheets as preparation for taking the next steps of healing.
Click HERE to go to Weeks 3 & 4
Click HERE to return to the Facilitator's Guide Introduction page