COMFORT.GUIDE ....."I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him, creating praise on the lips of the mourners..." (Isaiah 57, NIV)
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  • WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW!
  • FACILITATOR'S GUIDE
    • CHANGE AND GRIEF
    • WEEKS 1 & 2
    • WEEKS 3 & 4
    • WEEKS 5 & 6
    • WEELS 7 & 8
    • WEEKS 9 & 10
    • WEEKS 11 & 12
    • WEEKS 13 & 14
    • WEEKS 15 & 16
    • WEEKS 17 & 18
  • WEEKS 1 & 2 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK 1 ... OUTLINE >
      • A WOMAN AT A WELL
      • SEEING OUR EARLY LOSSES CLEARLY
      • WHO DO YOU CRY OUT TO?
      • WHO IS HE???
      • PSALM 139
    • WEEK 2 ... OUTLINE >
      • LIVING IN BETHSAIDA
      • SEEING EARLY LOSSES, WITH AGES
      • WKSHEET - HEALING OF MEMORIES...
      • TELLING MY STORY - COMFORT AND HEALING OF MEMORIES/NARRATIVE
      • TELLING MY STORY
      • "WONDERFULLY MADE" - 1
  • WEEKS 3 & 4 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK THREE OUTLINE ... "TELLING MY STORY - I FELT" >
      • KNOWING JESUS OR...
      • TELLING MY STORY - I FELT
      • THIS IS WHAT I DO!
      • P.S. - FAITH, FEELINGS & CANCER
    • WEEK FOUR OUTLINE ... "TELLING MY STORY - I FELT" >
      • EMMANUEL
      • SEEING OUR LOSSES CLEARLY - EXTENDED SCALE
      • DELIGHTING IN A VISIT
      • "WONDERFULLY MADE" - 2
  • WEEKS 5 & 6 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK FIVE OUTLINE - TELLING MY STORY - "I FELT TO I LOST" >
      • NOTICING A WIDOW
      • COMPARING DIFFERENT VOICES
      • STAGES OF GRIEF
    • WEEK SIX OUTLINE - TELLING MY STORY - "I FELT TO I LOST" >
      • PETER - WAITING FOR INSPIRATION AND POWER!
      • THE HOLY SPIRIT
      • TELLING MY STORY - I LOST
      • MUST AND SHOULD
      • MINDFULLY ATTACHING TO GOD
      • "WONDERFULLY MADE" - 3
  • WEEKS 7 & 8 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK SEVEN OUTLINE - “I CAME TO BELIEVE" >
      • WHAT IS ON HIS PALM?
      • TELLING MY STORY - I CAME TO BELIEVE
      • TELLING MY STORY - MUST AND SHOULD
      • GOOD SHEPHERD
    • WEEK EIGHT OUTLINE - “I CAME TO BELIEVE" >
      • A MAN WITH A SHRIVELED HAND
      • WOUNDED HEARTS THINK WOUNDING THOUGHTS
      • IDENTIFYING PERSONAL TRIGGERS/WORKSHEET
      • WHAT GRACE LOOKS LIKE
      • "WONDERFULLY MADE" - 4
  • WEEKS 9 & 10 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK NINE OUTLINE - "TELLING MY STORY - I CAME TO BELIEVE TO I ACTED" >
      • THE WIDOW OF NAIN
      • TELLING MY STORY - I ACTED
      • UNFAILING LOVE, AND WORK
      • HE REACHES OUT FIRST
    • WEEK TEN OUTLINE - "TELLING MY STORY - I CAME TO BELIEVE TO I ACTED" >
      • INHERITANCE FOR SONS
      • DEFENSE MECHANISMS
      • INHERITANCE FOR WHOM?
      • A JOURNEY
  • WEEKS 11 & 12 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK ELEVEN OUTLINE - "RENEWING MY MIND - FAITH, FEELINGS AND FORGIVENESS" >
      • TAKING JESUS AT HIS WORD/JAIRUS
      • TAKING JESUS AT HIS WORD/OFFICIAL
      • I WANT TO WALK!
      • GRACE FOR AN "OUTSIDER?"
    • WEEK TWELVE OUTLINE - "RENEWING MY MIND - FAITH, FEELINGS AND FORGIVENESS" >
      • WANTING TO GET WELL, OR?
      • FORGIVENESS/CHOICE
      • FORGIVE/COMFORT
  • WEEKS 13 & 14 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK THIRTEEN OUTLINE - REWRITE - "I CAME TO BELIEVE ... AND I GAINED" >
      • ZACCHAEUS
      • REWRITE - CRYING OUT - SEEING OUR LOSS CLEARLY
      • MY SERVANT
    • WEEK FOURTEEN OUTLINE - "I CAME TO BELIEVE AND I GAINED" >
      • ARE YOU KNOWN?
      • REWRITE - TELLING MY STORY - I CAME TO BELEIVE
      • MUST AND SHOULD W/ SCRIPTURE
      • REWRITE - WOUNDED HEARTS THINK WOUNDING THOUGHTS
      • A FATHER'S DELIGHT
  • WEEKS 15 & 16 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK FIFTEEN OUTLINE - RE-WRITE! “I GAINED” to “I AM SET FREE TO FEEL” >
      • GARDENING
      • USES OF MEMORY
      • RE-WRITE MY STORY - COMFORT AND HEALING OF MEMORIES
      • NATHANIEL AND A FIG TREE
    • WEEK SIXTEEN OUTLINE - RE-WRITE! "I GAINED" TO i AM SET FREE TO FEEL" >
      • HIS PLANS FOR US
      • RE-WRITE MY STORY - COMFORT AND HEALING OF MEMORIES
      • WHOSE PLANS ARE BETTER?
  • WEEKS 17 & 18 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK SEVENTEEN OUTLINE - "BOUNCE!" >
      • A CHANGE OF PLANS
      • ENVISIONING FREEDOM
      • REWRITE - DEFENSE MECHANISMS
    • WEEK EIGHTEEN OUTLINE >
      • EXPECTATIONS!
  • INDEX
  • TOOL KIT
    • A, B, C's
    • RELAXED BREATHING
    • GROUNDING STRATEGIES
    • PROGRESSIVE RELAXATION
  • CREDITS
  • CONTACT US
  • WONDERFULLY MADE/SCRIPTURE AND SCIENCE
    • "WONDERFULLY MADE" - 1
    • "WONDERFULLY MADE" - 2
    • "WONDERFULLY MADE" - 3
    • "WONDERFULLY MADE" - 4
WEEKS 5 & 6 “TELLING MY STORY: “I FELT to I LOST”

STAGE OF CHANGE… Preparing for change.

STAGE OF GRIEF… Bargaining to Withdrawal
Note:  This stage of change is normally slow, even when there is openness to change. This work of preparation for change is still in process. There are still questions in preparing to change that need to be answered.  For example, can I really believe change is possible?  What are the benefits of change compared to the “comfortability” of NOT changing?  Does Jesus really see me?  Do I really matter?  What would change feel like and look like for me?  Can Jesus be trusted?

NOTE:  Likewise, in the process of grieving a person may get STUCK IN ANGER.  Anger can be experienced as both empowering and protective.  This is a normal “coping mechanism”.  The patterns we adopt in order to cope with pain become a well-established and well-worn reoccurring pathway.  These beliefs and actions settle in our neurological system; they then settle and become rooted deep within our heart! Hope through a relationship with Jesus, who will be with you and give you the strength for change, will bring the confidence allowing old beliefs to be “uprooted”. The new seeds of truth are then able to be planted.
 
EDUCATIONAL MATERIAL
: Wonderfully Made (Part 3) "We Are Designed for Healing and Renewal of the Mind – The Neuroscience behind PAUSE, REFLECT, RECEIVE!”  This is found at the tab at the top of this page.  Part 3 will be woven into the study in Weeks 5 & 6.  Also, due to its importance, it can also be found at the end of Week 6.
 
Focus and Goals for Week 5 and 6: Telling my story I felt to I lost.
Week 5: Increase in knowledge and awareness of the past losses that have an impact on the person’s current life. 

Week 6: Preparing for change is occurring as the above questions are asked and answered.   These questions are not coming from resistance or lack of faith, but rather they establish the capacity for real choice.  Be sure to read the “Bridge” page at the very beginning of Week 11!

KNOWING JESUS:
Week 5: “Noticing a Widow”.  In a paragraph above (regarding Grief) we mentioned questions such as: “Does Jesus really see me?  Do I really matter?  What would change feel like and look like for me?  Can Jesus be trusted?”  A reading of this Gospel story answers these questions and more!  Members should let this story reside deeply in them, bringing confidence and hope!

Week 5: “Comparing Different Voices”:  This is a very important educational/inspirational video.  It will help members really become more aware of who Jesus really is, and at the same time, become aware of personal mis-perceptions they have come to believe about Jesus.  It provides an opportunity to really choose whose voice they will decide to listen to.  Invite them to choose the voice of truth.

Week 6: “Peter Waiting” and “The Holy Spirit”:  Truly waiting on the empowerment of the Holy Spirit allows us to turn away from self-reliance, old coping patterns and assumptions, and rather rely on the Holy Spirit within us! Encourage the members to ask for the empowerment of the Holy Spirit on a one to one basis.  Ask questions about what negative coping mechanisms and assumptions may need to be identified and surrendered to the Lord, done through the work of the Holy Spirit.

KNOWING OURSELVES:
Week 5: “Stages of Grief”:  Allow ample time for identifying each person’s stage of grief.  Pause and Reflect, and ask the Lord for insight into His heart.  Allow for prayer time for this most important task.

Week 6: “Telling my Story - I Lost”:  It is important to give language to the core needs that were lost in the past.  As a facilitator you want to encourage the person to look at the full story of the impact of that loss and not minimize or move into denial.  This helps bring awareness of the Lord’s personal love and empathy. This is where the re-write of a person’s wounds begin.

Week 6:” Must and Should”:  Ask for how they experience realizing these patterns. What is the emotional and physical reaction?  Are their similarities among the members? 


Click HERE to go to Weeks 7 & 8
 
Click HERE to return to the Facilitator's Guide Introduction page