WORKSHEET
Seeing our Early Loss Clearly
Seeing our Early Loss Clearly
A "WORKSHEET" is simply a way for you to look squarely at yourself and see where you are. Like a GPS system in your car or in your phone, you have to know where you're at, honestly, clearly and completely.
At the beginning of these worksheets, take time to pause and quiet yourself. This is a great time for reflection as to how to care for yourself. Ask the Holy Spirit for inspiration and insight as you work through this worksheet.
Worksheets can be printed so you can reflect on them later, or perhaps your device has the ability to make notes right on the Worksheet page, then you can save the Worksheet in your device for later review.
This particular Worksheet "Scale" is perhaps the most revealing and therefore valuable Worksheet in Comfort.Guide. Several research studies have found that many of our core human needs (click HERE to refer back to "WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW" page, found near the beginning of that page) actually have been met and filled, or unmet and unfulfilled, quite early in life, from infancy to and through our teen years and beyond. Quite often we do not even realize where we are today on such a scale as shown below, and just as often we can't figure out why we think and feel the way we do, let alone how we came to this point in our life.
It is quite true that our reaction and handling of current events in our lives depends to a great deal on our early experiences in having our core needs filled or unfilled.
IMPORTANT: The Worksheet Scale is so important and helpful that we have taken two examples of how real people have already filled out this Worksheet. Their honesty will be a help to you!
The first person (shown by a blue number "1" in the scale below) grew up in a dysfunctional family, including a father who was emotionally distant, usually uninvolved, critical when involved, and affectionate. The mother was frequently sick with undiagnosed illnesses, and was on a good day "cold" and distant. The parents were divorced during college years for this person. Obviously, as this first person grew up, this person had many issues that needed healing. This person marked this worksheet with a number "1" below.
The second person (shown by a green number "2" in the scale below) grew up in a very poor family, small house, emotionally and physically sick mother, no communication, no feelings, performance-based overwhelmed by rules at home and rules at church. This person also developed severe clinical depression together with frequent, debilitating panic attacks. Fear, worry and anxiety about anything and everything was the norm. This person marked this worksheet with a number "2" below.
When you are finished seeing and understanding their responses below, go downward on this page so that you can fill in this Worksheet Scale for yourself. Be honest with yourself!
Unlovable Deeply loved
0 ..……1……………2……………...................................................10
Frightened Secure
0 …2………1…………………………………………………………. 10
Unaccepted Accepted
0 …1……………2……………….....................................................10
Inadequate Able
0 …2………1…………………….....................................................10
Unworthy/“Bad” Worthy/”Good”
0 …2…1………………………….....................................................10
Isolation Belonging
0 …2…1………………………….....................................................10
Insignificant Significant
0 ……1…2……………………….....................................................10
_______________________________________________________________________________________
OK! Your turn! Remember, the purpose of this Worksheet is to help you understand where you have experienced loss in core needs. As you become more aware of yourself, you will then be able to receive the Comfort you need in those specific areas! Remember, be honest with yourself! Answer these questions with your "gut" and not your head!
Consider printing this page so you can actually write on it and keep it handy as you continue through Comfort.Guide. Place an “X” somewhere between 0 and 10 to indicate your general overall feelings as a result of the impact of your losses…..
Unlovable Deeply loved
0 ..………………………………...................................................10
Frightened Secure
0 ……………………………………………………………………. 10
Unaccepted Accepted
0 ……………………………….....................................................10
Inadequate Able
0 …..…..……………………….....................................................10
Unworthy/“Bad” Worthy/”Good”
0 ……………………………….....................................................10
Isolation Belonging
0 ……………………………….....................................................10
Insignificant Significant
0 ……………………………….....................................................10
Adapted from Erikson's "Psychosocial Stages of Development"
As you filled this out, where you surprised by any of your answers? Were you especially surprised by any answers far to the LEFT (negative) or far to the RIGHT (positive)?
Now that you have finished the worksheet, it's a great time to talk with Jesus about what has become more clear to you as to your personal losses in core needs. As you do this, remember that He is with you, He sees you, He hears your call for help, He understands you with deep empathy, and His heart of Love intervenes to work all things together for good.
And a good conversation goes both ways, so be sure to then listen for all the insights He has for you! He will make the Scriptures you need come alive, He may use songs, He may use images, He may use "word-pictures", etc., all prepared especially for you and only you at this time of your healing and growth!
At the beginning of these worksheets, take time to pause and quiet yourself. This is a great time for reflection as to how to care for yourself. Ask the Holy Spirit for inspiration and insight as you work through this worksheet.
Worksheets can be printed so you can reflect on them later, or perhaps your device has the ability to make notes right on the Worksheet page, then you can save the Worksheet in your device for later review.
This particular Worksheet "Scale" is perhaps the most revealing and therefore valuable Worksheet in Comfort.Guide. Several research studies have found that many of our core human needs (click HERE to refer back to "WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW" page, found near the beginning of that page) actually have been met and filled, or unmet and unfulfilled, quite early in life, from infancy to and through our teen years and beyond. Quite often we do not even realize where we are today on such a scale as shown below, and just as often we can't figure out why we think and feel the way we do, let alone how we came to this point in our life.
It is quite true that our reaction and handling of current events in our lives depends to a great deal on our early experiences in having our core needs filled or unfilled.
IMPORTANT: The Worksheet Scale is so important and helpful that we have taken two examples of how real people have already filled out this Worksheet. Their honesty will be a help to you!
The first person (shown by a blue number "1" in the scale below) grew up in a dysfunctional family, including a father who was emotionally distant, usually uninvolved, critical when involved, and affectionate. The mother was frequently sick with undiagnosed illnesses, and was on a good day "cold" and distant. The parents were divorced during college years for this person. Obviously, as this first person grew up, this person had many issues that needed healing. This person marked this worksheet with a number "1" below.
The second person (shown by a green number "2" in the scale below) grew up in a very poor family, small house, emotionally and physically sick mother, no communication, no feelings, performance-based overwhelmed by rules at home and rules at church. This person also developed severe clinical depression together with frequent, debilitating panic attacks. Fear, worry and anxiety about anything and everything was the norm. This person marked this worksheet with a number "2" below.
When you are finished seeing and understanding their responses below, go downward on this page so that you can fill in this Worksheet Scale for yourself. Be honest with yourself!
Unlovable Deeply loved
0 ..……1……………2……………...................................................10
Frightened Secure
0 …2………1…………………………………………………………. 10
Unaccepted Accepted
0 …1……………2……………….....................................................10
Inadequate Able
0 …2………1…………………….....................................................10
Unworthy/“Bad” Worthy/”Good”
0 …2…1………………………….....................................................10
Isolation Belonging
0 …2…1………………………….....................................................10
Insignificant Significant
0 ……1…2……………………….....................................................10
_______________________________________________________________________________________
OK! Your turn! Remember, the purpose of this Worksheet is to help you understand where you have experienced loss in core needs. As you become more aware of yourself, you will then be able to receive the Comfort you need in those specific areas! Remember, be honest with yourself! Answer these questions with your "gut" and not your head!
Consider printing this page so you can actually write on it and keep it handy as you continue through Comfort.Guide. Place an “X” somewhere between 0 and 10 to indicate your general overall feelings as a result of the impact of your losses…..
Unlovable Deeply loved
0 ..………………………………...................................................10
Frightened Secure
0 ……………………………………………………………………. 10
Unaccepted Accepted
0 ……………………………….....................................................10
Inadequate Able
0 …..…..……………………….....................................................10
Unworthy/“Bad” Worthy/”Good”
0 ……………………………….....................................................10
Isolation Belonging
0 ……………………………….....................................................10
Insignificant Significant
0 ……………………………….....................................................10
Adapted from Erikson's "Psychosocial Stages of Development"
As you filled this out, where you surprised by any of your answers? Were you especially surprised by any answers far to the LEFT (negative) or far to the RIGHT (positive)?
Now that you have finished the worksheet, it's a great time to talk with Jesus about what has become more clear to you as to your personal losses in core needs. As you do this, remember that He is with you, He sees you, He hears your call for help, He understands you with deep empathy, and His heart of Love intervenes to work all things together for good.
And a good conversation goes both ways, so be sure to then listen for all the insights He has for you! He will make the Scriptures you need come alive, He may use songs, He may use images, He may use "word-pictures", etc., all prepared especially for you and only you at this time of your healing and growth!
________________________________________________________________________________________
PROMISES ..... short Scriptures to build you up and give you hope!
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" (John 14, NIV)
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Click HERE to return to "Week 1 Outline".
Click HERE to go to the next page: "Who Do You Cry Out To?"
PROMISES ..... short Scriptures to build you up and give you hope!
"Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" (John 14, NIV)
_________________________________________________________________________________________
Click HERE to return to "Week 1 Outline".
Click HERE to go to the next page: "Who Do You Cry Out To?"