COMFORT.GUIDE ....."I will heal him; I will guide him and restore comfort to him, creating praise on the lips of the mourners..." (Isaiah 57, NIV)
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    • CHANGE AND GRIEF
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    • WEELS 7 & 8
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    • WEEKS 13 & 14
    • WEEKS 15 & 16
    • WEEKS 17 & 18
  • WEEKS 1 & 2 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK 1 ... OUTLINE >
      • A WOMAN AT A WELL
      • SEEING OUR EARLY LOSSES CLEARLY
      • WHO DO YOU CRY OUT TO?
      • WHO IS HE???
      • PSALM 139
    • WEEK 2 ... OUTLINE >
      • LIVING IN BETHSAIDA
      • SEEING EARLY LOSSES, WITH AGES
      • WKSHEET - HEALING OF MEMORIES...
      • TELLING MY STORY - COMFORT AND HEALING OF MEMORIES/NARRATIVE
      • TELLING MY STORY
      • "WONDERFULLY MADE" - 1
  • WEEKS 3 & 4 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK THREE OUTLINE ... "TELLING MY STORY - I FELT" >
      • KNOWING JESUS OR...
      • TELLING MY STORY - I FELT
      • THIS IS WHAT I DO!
      • P.S. - FAITH, FEELINGS & CANCER
    • WEEK FOUR OUTLINE ... "TELLING MY STORY - I FELT" >
      • EMMANUEL
      • SEEING OUR LOSSES CLEARLY - EXTENDED SCALE
      • DELIGHTING IN A VISIT
      • "WONDERFULLY MADE" - 2
  • WEEKS 5 & 6 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK FIVE OUTLINE - TELLING MY STORY - "I FELT TO I LOST" >
      • NOTICING A WIDOW
      • COMPARING DIFFERENT VOICES
      • STAGES OF GRIEF
    • WEEK SIX OUTLINE - TELLING MY STORY - "I FELT TO I LOST" >
      • PETER - WAITING FOR INSPIRATION AND POWER!
      • THE HOLY SPIRIT
      • TELLING MY STORY - I LOST
      • MUST AND SHOULD
      • MINDFULLY ATTACHING TO GOD
      • "WONDERFULLY MADE" - 3
  • WEEKS 7 & 8 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK SEVEN OUTLINE - “I CAME TO BELIEVE" >
      • WHAT IS ON HIS PALM?
      • TELLING MY STORY - I CAME TO BELIEVE
      • TELLING MY STORY - MUST AND SHOULD
      • GOOD SHEPHERD
    • WEEK EIGHT OUTLINE - “I CAME TO BELIEVE" >
      • A MAN WITH A SHRIVELED HAND
      • WOUNDED HEARTS THINK WOUNDING THOUGHTS
      • IDENTIFYING PERSONAL TRIGGERS/WORKSHEET
      • WHAT GRACE LOOKS LIKE
      • "WONDERFULLY MADE" - 4
  • WEEKS 9 & 10 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK NINE OUTLINE - "TELLING MY STORY - I CAME TO BELIEVE TO I ACTED" >
      • THE WIDOW OF NAIN
      • TELLING MY STORY - I ACTED
      • UNFAILING LOVE, AND WORK
      • HE REACHES OUT FIRST
    • WEEK TEN OUTLINE - "TELLING MY STORY - I CAME TO BELIEVE TO I ACTED" >
      • INHERITANCE FOR SONS
      • DEFENSE MECHANISMS
      • INHERITANCE FOR WHOM?
      • A JOURNEY
  • WEEKS 11 & 12 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK ELEVEN OUTLINE - "RENEWING MY MIND - FAITH, FEELINGS AND FORGIVENESS" >
      • TAKING JESUS AT HIS WORD/JAIRUS
      • TAKING JESUS AT HIS WORD/OFFICIAL
      • I WANT TO WALK!
      • GRACE FOR AN "OUTSIDER?"
    • WEEK TWELVE OUTLINE - "RENEWING MY MIND - FAITH, FEELINGS AND FORGIVENESS" >
      • WANTING TO GET WELL, OR?
      • FORGIVENESS/CHOICE
      • FORGIVE/COMFORT
  • WEEKS 13 & 14 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK THIRTEEN OUTLINE - REWRITE - "I CAME TO BELIEVE ... AND I GAINED" >
      • ZACCHAEUS
      • REWRITE - CRYING OUT - SEEING OUR LOSS CLEARLY
      • MY SERVANT
    • WEEK FOURTEEN OUTLINE - "I CAME TO BELIEVE AND I GAINED" >
      • ARE YOU KNOWN?
      • REWRITE - TELLING MY STORY - I CAME TO BELEIVE
      • MUST AND SHOULD W/ SCRIPTURE
      • REWRITE - WOUNDED HEARTS THINK WOUNDING THOUGHTS
      • A FATHER'S DELIGHT
  • WEEKS 15 & 16 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK FIFTEEN OUTLINE - RE-WRITE! “I GAINED” to “I AM SET FREE TO FEEL” >
      • GARDENING
      • USES OF MEMORY
      • RE-WRITE MY STORY - COMFORT AND HEALING OF MEMORIES
      • NATHANIEL AND A FIG TREE
    • WEEK SIXTEEN OUTLINE - RE-WRITE! "I GAINED" TO i AM SET FREE TO FEEL" >
      • HIS PLANS FOR US
      • RE-WRITE MY STORY - COMFORT AND HEALING OF MEMORIES
      • WHOSE PLANS ARE BETTER?
  • WEEKS 17 & 18 - BRIDGE & OUTLINES
    • WEEK SEVENTEEN OUTLINE - "BOUNCE!" >
      • A CHANGE OF PLANS
      • ENVISIONING FREEDOM
      • REWRITE - DEFENSE MECHANISMS
    • WEEK EIGHTEEN OUTLINE >
      • EXPECTATIONS!
  • INDEX
  • TOOL KIT
    • A, B, C's
    • RELAXED BREATHING
    • GROUNDING STRATEGIES
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  • WONDERFULLY MADE/SCRIPTURE AND SCIENCE
    • "WONDERFULLY MADE" - 1
    • "WONDERFULLY MADE" - 2
    • "WONDERFULLY MADE" - 3
    • "WONDERFULLY MADE" - 4
                             WORKSHEET

                           "TELLING MY STORY - I LOST"
 
A "WORKSHEET" is simply a way for you to look squarely at yourself and see where you are.  Like a GPS system in your car or in your phone, you have to know where you're at, honestly, clearly and completely. 

At the beginning of these worksheets, take time to pause and quiet yourself.  This is a great time for reflection as to how to care for yourself.  Ask the Holy Spirit for inspiration and insight as you work through this worksheet. 

Worksheets can be printed so you can reflect on them later, or perhaps your device has the ability to make notes right on the Worksheet page, then you can save the Worksheet in your device for later review.



Basic human core needs are: feelings that you are … deeply loved, safe and secure, accepted, able, worthy, that you belong, and that you have significance.

As you are "telling your story", now is the time to identify more clearly the particular losses of human core needs that you experienced in your life, and the incidents(s) that caused these losses. 

What Core Needs were lost as a result of this incident, or pattern of incidents?
 
The following Worksheet is simply a longer version of an earlier worksheet (found in Week 2) called “Crying Out - Seeing Our Loss Clearly, with ages”.  The extended Worksheet below will help you have more language to describe and understand the loss of core needs that you experienced through this incident or pattern of incidents.  

As you review the extended scale of core needs, identify the thoughts, emotions and physiological responses associated with the loss of that core need.  Naming the core loss(es) will give you insight as to what you began to think about yourself, God and others.  Becoming aware of the negative emotions and physiological responses associated with those incidents will help you become aware of how often, in your current life, you are thinking, feeling and responding due to the impact of that loss.  In other words, past feelings can affect you in your current life, when perhaps they really have no bearing on the current situation.
 

For example, if the human core needs you lost were a sense of safety, trust and love as a child, as an adult you may have problems loving and trusting yourself, others and God.  You may begin to feel fear and mistrust in social situations, or in response to authority figures.  You may have difficulty believing that God loves you.  Your body will automatically move you into the fight, flight and fear response.  

If you would pause and become aware of your thinking pattern, you will discover that these current thoughts would be consistent with past feelings of not being safe, not being loved, not trusting others or yourself.  In short, as stated above, past feelings can come out in current situations, whether appropriate or not.
 





Mistrusting                                                                                                                           Trusting

0       ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     10


Unsafe                                                                                                                                     Safe

0       ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     10


Rejected                                                                                                                                Loved

0       ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     10


Insecure                                                                                                                                 Secure 

0      ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     10

 
Inadequate                                                                                                                          Adequate

0      ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     10


Self-Doubt                                                                                                                      Self-Confidence

0      ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     10


Dependent                                                                                                                        Independent

0      ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     10


Invisible                                                                                                                                  Visible

0       ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     10


Passive                                                                                                                                Assertive

0      ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     10


Guilty/Shameful                                                                                                                   Worthy

0      ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     10


Unaware of Gifts                                                                                                            Aware of Gifts

0      ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     10


Insignificant                                                                                                                       Significant

0      ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     10


Disrespected                                                                                                                     Respected

0       ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     10


Isolated                                                                                                                             Connected

0       ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     10


Irrelevant                                                                                                                          Influential

0       ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     10


Hopeless                                                                                                                             Hopeful

0       ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------     10


Adapted from Erikson's "Psychosocial Stages of Development"

PAUSE AND REFLECT! 

* Note those core needs that are strong toward the positive scale.
* Note those core needs that are not strong, but more toward the unfulfilled scale.
* Are you surprised by your responses?  
* Ask how those unfulfilled needs have impacted you in how you think about yourself, relationships and God?
What are your emotions when you think of how you view yourself, relationships, God?
What are the physiological responses associated with these thoughts?


Now that you have finished the worksheet, it’s a great time to talk with Jesus about what has become clearer to you.  As you do this, remember that He is with you, He sees you, He hears your call for help, He understands you with deep empathy and His heart of Love intervenes to work all things together for good.

Listen carefully as to how God wants to transform and heal the negative thoughts, feelings and responses with His comfort.  Take time to journal here the new ways God would be inviting you to think, feel and respond.  What new insights or realizations come to mind?  
 
The Holy Spirit will inspire you with insight into new ways of understanding and thinking about the events that have, and still do, impact your life.  He will make the Scriptures you need come alive.  He may also use songs, images and even “word-pictures", all prepared especially for you and only you at this time of your healing.

 
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PROMISES
..... short Scriptures to build you up and give you hope!

"Be strong and courageous!  Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.”  (Joshua 1, NIV)

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Click HERE to go to the next page "Identifying Human Core Needs - Must and Should"