WORKSHEET

Identifying Your Stage of Grieving and Healing - I Acted

A "WORKSHEET" is simply a way for you to look squarely at yourself and see where you are.  Like a GPS system in your car or in your phone, you have to know where you're at, honestly, clearly and completely. 

At the beginning of these worksheets, take time to pause and quiet yourself.  This is a great time for reflection as to how to care for yourself.  Ask the Holy Spirit for inspiration and insight as you work through this worksheet. 

Worksheets can be printed so you can reflect on them later, or perhaps your device has the ability to make notes right on the Worksheet page, then you can save the Worksheet in your device for later review.


How are you experiencing the grieving process in your everyday life?  The grieving process will be expressed and identified by how you think, feel and act.  As you do this, remember that He is with you, He sees you, He hears your call for help, He understands you with deep empathy, and His heart of Love intervenes to work all things together for good.

And a good conversation goes both ways, so be sure to then listen for all the insights He has for you!  He will make the Scriptures you need come alive, He may use songs, He may use images, He may use "word-pictures", etc., all prepared especially for you and only you at this time of your healing and growth!



* I find myself in DENIAL:  this can be experienced as a sense of detachment and numbness from your feelings, and others.

Pause - Reflect - Receive

What are the circumstances/events in your life that have resulted in a response of feeling detached or numb?  For example, when might you think that, or want to, say, “I can’t deal with this.”, “We are not going to talk about this.”, “I need to go hide.”  What loss of human core needs was the source of this reaction?  (Human core needs include a need to be and feel safe, loved, be of worth, belonging and having purpose and significance.) 

Intentionally reach out to Jesus seeking His comfort and presence.  Write about this, tell your story, write down the comfort and new awareness that the Lord brings to your heart.

 
* I find myself ANGRY:  this can be experienced as an overall agitation, irritability and aggressiveness.  You may find yourself surprised at your over reaction to the smallest irritation in your daily life.  This can lead to overall fatigue, and difficulties sleeping as well as conflict and over-reactivity in relationships.

Pause - Reflect - Receive

What are the circumstances/events that triggered an irritable, perhaps inappropriate anger response?  Who is often the focus of your anger, yourself, those closest to you, others in general, God himself?  What loss of core needs was the source of this reaction?  Intentionally reach out to Jesus seeking His comfort and presence. Write about this, tell your story, write down the comfort and new awareness that the Lord brings to your heart.


* I find myself in BARGAINING AND CONTROL:  this can be experienced as hyper-vigilant problem solving to fix and change the situation.

Pause - Reflect - Receive

Does excessive worry and anxiety about your safety or the need to protect and avoid “disaster” for others dominate your thoughts and emotions?  Are you constantly trying to perform perfectly in your life in order to avoid disaster?  Do you make promises to God about performing perfectly so that your prayers for yourself or others are answered?  What is the core need fueling this mind set?
 
God’s heart for us is that we come to Him when we are weary to learn from Him the trust He has in the Father’s love.  However, often we are driving ourselves to “please” God so that He will answer our prayers.  Are you operating on a fear based perspective rather than a love based perspective?  Intentionally reach out to Jesus seeking His comfort and presence.  Write about this, tell your story, write down the comfort and new awareness that the Lord brings to your heart.


* I find myself in WITHDRAWAL:  this stage can be experienced as isolating from social interaction. You may experience a difficulty enjoying activities that at one time you found rewarding and refreshing.

Pause - Reflect - Receive

Ask yourself how deeply and in what ways are you withdrawing from social connection? Why are you avoiding these interactions?  Is there a loss of hope in belonging, in being of worth and significance or effectiveness? Is guilt somehow making you feel unworthy of having your needs met?  Intentionally reach out to Jesus seeking His comfort and presence.  Write about this, tell your story, write down the comfort and new awareness that the Lord brings to your heart.


* I find myself HOPELESS and SHUT DOWN: this stage can be experienced as resignation to what is perceived as inevitable.

Pause - Reflect - Receive

At this stage you may have given up all efforts to seek and explore new solutions, avenues of help, as well as, creative strategies for expressing yourself and having a voice.  Your world has become small and dark (trapped) and a sense of beauty has disappeared from your life.  All “executive” functions have shut down and you see no alternatives for “escape.  Intentionally reach out to Jesus seeking His comfort and presence.  Write about this, tell your story, write down the comfort and new awareness that the Lord brings to your heart.


As you pause and reflect on the above information, identify the stage(s) you are experiencing.  You will want to perhaps journal and reflect on how you are personally experiencing this grief process.


Now that you have finished the worksheet, it’s a great time to talk with Jesus about what has become clearer to you. 

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PROMISES ..... short Scriptures to build you up and give you hope!

"Do not be afraid ... for I will pour water on thirsty land, and streams on the dry ground; I will pour our my Spirit on your offspring, and my blessing on your descendants.  They will spring up like grass in a meadow, like poplar trees by flowing streams."  (Isaiah 44, NIV)

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