WORKSHEET
Telling My Story - I Lost
A "WORKSHEET" is simply a way for you to look squarely at yourself and see where you are. Like a GPS system in your car or in your phone, you have to know where you're at, honestly, clearly and completely.
At the beginning of these worksheets, take time to pause and quiet yourself, breathing and relaxing as mentioned in the "HOW TO USE" tab. This is a great time for reflection as to how to care for yourself. Ask the Holy Spirit for inspiration and insight as you work through this worksheet.
The following Worksheet is simply a longer version of an earlier worksheet called “Crying Out - Seeing Our Loss Clearly”. This extended Worksheet will help you have more language to describe and understand the loss of core needs that you experienced through a particular incident or pattern of incidents.
Basic core needs are: feelings that you are … deeply loved, safe and secure, accepted, able, worthy, that you belong, and that you have significance.
What Core Needs were lost as a result of this incident, or pattern of incidents?
As you review the extended scale of core needs, identify the thoughts, emotions and physiological responses associated with the loss of that core need. Naming the core loss(es) will give you insight as to what you began to think about yourself, God and others. Becoming aware of the negative emotions and physiological responses associated with those incidents will help you become aware of how often, in your current life, you are thinking, feeling and responding due to the impact of that loss. In other words, past feelings can affect you in your current life, when perhaps they really have no bearing on the current situation.
For example, if core needs you lost were a sense of safety, trust and love as a child, as an adult you may have problems loving and trusting yourself, others and God. You may begin to feel fear and mistrust in social situations, or in response to authority figures. You may have difficulty believing that God loves you. Your body will automatically move you into the fight, flight and fear response. If you would pause and become aware of your thinking pattern, you will discover that these current thoughts would be consistent with past feelings of not being safe, not being loved, not trusting others or yourself. In short, as stated above, past feelings can come out in current situations, whether appropriate or not.
Mistrusting Trusting
0 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Unsafe Safe
0 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Rejected Loved
0 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Insecure Secure
0 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Inadequate Adequate
0 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Self-Doubt Self-Confidence
0 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Dependent Independent
0 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Invisible Visible
0 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Passive Assertive
0 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Guilty/Shameful Worthy
0 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Unaware of Gifts Aware of Gifts
0 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Insignificant Significant
0 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Disrespected Respected
0 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Isolated Connected
0 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Irrelevant Influential
0 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Hopeless Hopeful
0 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Adapted from Erikson's "Psychosocial Stages of Development"
PAUSE AND REFLECT!
* Note those core needs that are strong toward the positive scale.
* Note those core needs that are not strong, but more toward the unfulfilled scale.
* Are you surprised by your responses?
* Ask how those unfulfilled needs have impacted you in how you think about yourself, relationships and God?
What are your emotions when you think of how you view yourself, relationships, God?
What are the physiological responses associated with these thoughts?
Now that you have finished the worksheet, it’s a great time to talk with Jesus about what has become clearer to you. As you do this, remember that He is with you, He sees you, He hears your call for help, He understands you with deep empathy and His heart of Love intervenes to work all things together for good.
Listen carefully as to how God wants to transform and heal the negative thoughts, feelings and responses with His comfort. Take time to journal here the new ways God would be inviting you to think, feel and respond. What new insights or realizations come to mind?
The Holy Spirit will inspire you with insight into new ways of understanding and thinking about the events that have, and still do, impact your life. He will make the Scriptures you need come alive. He may also use songs, images and even “word-pictures", all prepared especially for you and only you at this time of your healing.
Click HERE to go back to the "Week Three Outline"
Click HERE to go to the next reading "Noticing a Widow"
Telling My Story - I Lost
A "WORKSHEET" is simply a way for you to look squarely at yourself and see where you are. Like a GPS system in your car or in your phone, you have to know where you're at, honestly, clearly and completely.
At the beginning of these worksheets, take time to pause and quiet yourself, breathing and relaxing as mentioned in the "HOW TO USE" tab. This is a great time for reflection as to how to care for yourself. Ask the Holy Spirit for inspiration and insight as you work through this worksheet.
The following Worksheet is simply a longer version of an earlier worksheet called “Crying Out - Seeing Our Loss Clearly”. This extended Worksheet will help you have more language to describe and understand the loss of core needs that you experienced through a particular incident or pattern of incidents.
Basic core needs are: feelings that you are … deeply loved, safe and secure, accepted, able, worthy, that you belong, and that you have significance.
What Core Needs were lost as a result of this incident, or pattern of incidents?
As you review the extended scale of core needs, identify the thoughts, emotions and physiological responses associated with the loss of that core need. Naming the core loss(es) will give you insight as to what you began to think about yourself, God and others. Becoming aware of the negative emotions and physiological responses associated with those incidents will help you become aware of how often, in your current life, you are thinking, feeling and responding due to the impact of that loss. In other words, past feelings can affect you in your current life, when perhaps they really have no bearing on the current situation.
For example, if core needs you lost were a sense of safety, trust and love as a child, as an adult you may have problems loving and trusting yourself, others and God. You may begin to feel fear and mistrust in social situations, or in response to authority figures. You may have difficulty believing that God loves you. Your body will automatically move you into the fight, flight and fear response. If you would pause and become aware of your thinking pattern, you will discover that these current thoughts would be consistent with past feelings of not being safe, not being loved, not trusting others or yourself. In short, as stated above, past feelings can come out in current situations, whether appropriate or not.
Mistrusting Trusting
0 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Unsafe Safe
0 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Rejected Loved
0 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Insecure Secure
0 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Inadequate Adequate
0 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Self-Doubt Self-Confidence
0 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Dependent Independent
0 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Invisible Visible
0 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Passive Assertive
0 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Guilty/Shameful Worthy
0 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Unaware of Gifts Aware of Gifts
0 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Insignificant Significant
0 ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Disrespected Respected
0 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Isolated Connected
0 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Irrelevant Influential
0 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Hopeless Hopeful
0 --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10
Adapted from Erikson's "Psychosocial Stages of Development"
PAUSE AND REFLECT!
* Note those core needs that are strong toward the positive scale.
* Note those core needs that are not strong, but more toward the unfulfilled scale.
* Are you surprised by your responses?
* Ask how those unfulfilled needs have impacted you in how you think about yourself, relationships and God?
What are your emotions when you think of how you view yourself, relationships, God?
What are the physiological responses associated with these thoughts?
Now that you have finished the worksheet, it’s a great time to talk with Jesus about what has become clearer to you. As you do this, remember that He is with you, He sees you, He hears your call for help, He understands you with deep empathy and His heart of Love intervenes to work all things together for good.
Listen carefully as to how God wants to transform and heal the negative thoughts, feelings and responses with His comfort. Take time to journal here the new ways God would be inviting you to think, feel and respond. What new insights or realizations come to mind?
The Holy Spirit will inspire you with insight into new ways of understanding and thinking about the events that have, and still do, impact your life. He will make the Scriptures you need come alive. He may also use songs, images and even “word-pictures", all prepared especially for you and only you at this time of your healing.
Click HERE to go back to the "Week Three Outline"
Click HERE to go to the next reading "Noticing a Widow"